So why not make it easy on yourself. Try and eliminate that fear by approaching when you know she wants you to.
How do you do that?
By forcing an IOI. IOI’s stand for indicators of interest. There are a lot of ways to see if she is interested, or more open to talking to you, before you even walk up to her and say something. Here are some ways to force her interest: Once you’ve established eye contact, provoke a response from her by doing something like pointing at her, waving, raising your glass, making a cheeky face, poking your tongue out, raising your eyebrow, or simply smiling. I am sure you’ve seen James Bond. One of those sly grins will work just fine. If she smiles back…by all means approach.
If she gives you an IOI, then it is going to be that much easier to talk to her. Because lets face it, she wants you to talk to her. It’s doubtful that she won’t respond. So simply walk up and say, hey, how’s it going? If she wasn’t interested at all, she would’ve simply turned her head and looked away; and you can keep going about your business.
Another thing to consider before you approach is your body language. If you are walking with your head down, no emotion on your face, arms straight by your side, back slouched, then people will wander what is wrong with you. Not only are you going to appear non-approachable, but you will already be disqualified in the woman’s eyes, because your body language is saying your not confident.
Imagine you are really, really happy. Let’s say you just won the lottery. How would you walk around? I imagine you would have a huge smile on your face, a different energy about you, and I guarantee you wouldn’t be scared to say hi to anyone that made eye contact with you. You would literally be on top of the world. You would walk around with your head held high, back straight, chest out slightly, and just enjoying life. People will definitely pick up on this vibe. Can you see how such a little change can make all the difference?
Okay so you are portraying confidence, you have your body language down, you may or may not have forced an IOI, and now you see a really cute girl 10-20 feet away. It is now time to approach. But you don’t? Believe me, you are not the only one. There is a rule in this community of guys that know about pickup, it’s called the three second rule.
You need to worship this rule. What this means is you need to approach within the first three seconds. If you don’t, then it is highly likely that you ever will. Here is what happens if you do not approach within that time. You continue to think about how attractive she is, you’re constantly checking her out, your mind is racing at what you should say, you start to get nervous, your palms are sweating, you keep wondering if it is the right time or not, and, for the most part, you are stuck in your own head.
Why get so worked up by a complete stranger? It’s absolutely ridiculous what we put ourselves through. Someone we do not even know makes us feel completely useless. And that is why you need to approach within those first three seconds. Doing so will enable you to get past that fear and anxiety, and you’ll be in the moment, rather than getting stuck in your own head.
Guys always want to know what to say, or what some good openers are. I am not going to dive too much into openers because you could literally do a search on Google and find thousands. As guys, we put way too much emphasis on what to say. Yes, the words you use are important. But not nearly as important as your non verbals and how you say it.